Bothered from Barwell writes…

Dear Top Tomato Tasters,

I have four tomato plants, all of them are growing tomatoes (for that is their job, if they were growing lego bricks I’d be concerned (actually, I’d sell them)). They aren’t growing just a few tomatoes, they are each growing many many tomatoes. (I’d say many hundreds but I can’t really be bothered to count them, so I prefer the ambiguous “many many”.)

I’d like to say that this is the result of my green fingers but the truth be known it is likely going to be a mixture of the weather and my parents (for I was away for ten days of their formative life – not my parents formative life, the tomatoes. This is getting complicated).


My question is…what do I do with hundreds of tomatoes?



PS. Apologies for the lack of photo. I couldn’t get the tomato plant to sign a model release form. Selfish.


Allotment…day 13

A short post, with no pictures. I was away yesterday and couldn’t get to water the tomatoes. They are now on life-support, clinging on to dear life like a tomato plant tied up with string.

A sad day.

On a positive note, I have the European Radish Mountain, ironically made up of non EU shaped radish.

That is all, please pray for our tomatoes.

Allotment… day 6

 It is a lesser-known fact that there is a missing verse to the Coldplay song ‘Yellow’. It goes like this:

Look at your hands,

Look how they glow for you,

And everything the gloves touched,

Yeah, they are all yellow.

The one where they had inadvertently worn yellow gloves in the rain and it hilariously turned their hands, you got it, yellow. Well, I did exactly the same thing today. Just think, if they had included this verse in their song, I’d have forewarning!

Yesterday was very rainy, so I stayed away from the allotment; today was less so, so I ended up there for three or four hours. And thanks to only one rain shower, I managed to get a heck of a lot done.

I mended the fence which had nearly fallen down again and moved the tomatoes down along with their sauna and attached them to the outside of the shed (this may be a good, or a very bad idea…we’ll see), They need the sun, and they are not getting it from our garden, so hopefully it’ll work.

I finished digging out the second bed, which was relatively easy apart from being a bit heavy due to the rain. This also gave me a chance to use my shiny new spade which worked well, but then it is an inanimate object and other than a couple of minor differences between spades it largely comes down to how hard you dig. I mean, really, unless they come up with an automatic spade, or reintroduce slaves, it is down to you.

After that, I planted the vegetables I’d been growing in pots, so the chard and sprouts were pretty easy to put in; and then we come to carrots. I’ve been told by more than one person that moving carrots is a bad idea, but here’s the thing. I had about 25 carrots in one very small pot, which meant each root was the size of a pin. The choice was this… if I leave them in the pot they’ll be carrots for the Borrowers; if I take them out they may die, OR they may be actually grow. I chose the latter, sorry Borrowers.

If you haven’t been keeping up, then this is what I have planted so far…

  • Cabbage
  • Carrots
  • Cauliflower
  • Chard
  • Courgette
  • Radish
  • Spring onion
  • Sprouts

I think that’ll be it for planting, unless I can find another vegetable beginning with ‘c’ or the allotment neighbour donates a squash or two. I’ll spend the rest of the year digging over the rest of the plot ready for next year.

Now, in the style of an annoying film that feels like it should have ended ten-minutes ago, I’m going to add a second ending. As I forgot that I had also done some trenching! Yes indeed, the most satisfying digging since the spade was invented. I needed to sort out the dangerous drainage gulleys that were in front of the shed. I also can report that the guttering is doing a fine job as the water butt is about half-full!

Right, I’m off to update the Coldplay section of Wikipedia…ImageImageImage